Friday, January 3, 2014

Conviction, Determination, Desire, and Peace. That is what I feel this New Years 2014.

Another year has come and gone and on this eve of “ Ringing in” the glorious year of 2014, I’m doing exactly what I did  last year and the 4 years prior to this one.  My husband and I are in our recliners away from all the hustle and bustle of the bar and restaurant scenes and have become quite at peace with staying home avoiding all the traffic mishaps just being thankful, happy, and blessed with the life we have. This is the night he and I reflect on the year that has passed good and bad and look forward to a new year full of Hope, Health, Love, and Peace.   We remember those we have lost to heaven and we smile at the new generation coming up.  We are so thankful for gaining new friends, yet saddened for those we’ve lost along the way.

We look through pictures and share laughs, and he reminds me that I have a “good eye” with the camera. I remind him he’s a great subject.  This last year, 2013, has been pretty rough for our family as I’m sure it has been for a lot of people. Financially, it has brought many of us to our knees. So many people have lost their homes, their cars, their jobs, and their livelihood.  JR. & I both are products of the 60’s. Gas was around $.35 a gallon, Coca-Cola was $.15, going to the movie was

$1.25, and a new pair of Converse All-stars that all the kids wore was $4.95 (in any color you could imagine). I remember when I got my first job at 16; I brought home $80.00 a week. I put $40 in savings, gave my momma $20 to live there (it was required) and the rest was to eat, gas, and frivolously spent. We were talking tonight about how that $80 hardly filled JRs truck up today or how it might buy us dinner at a restaurant, maybe buy 2 bags at Kroger, and definitely wouldn’t be enough to buy those tennis shoes. 

Makes you put things in perspective if it’s in black and white doesn’t it?

Usually this is the time of year people make commitments to change their way of life such as going on a diet, stop drinking, start going to church, etc. Most folks commit for about a week and then it’s back to the same ole same ole. As for me, I've decided NOT to put any unrealistic pressure on myself or my family this year, rather commit and promise to do the best I can do for them and myself in 2014. I’m hoping the end result will be great, and I will be happier with myself in the long run. I certainly don’t need any more pressure considering, but I do need to make some changes and will try with all that I am and all that I have to make them. I have a feeling my family will love me just the same.

I want to love more and longer, harder and with a vengeance. I have no idea how much time God will allow me to stay on this earth with my loved ones but that being said, I want to make every minute count and I want every member of my family, every friend I have, every stranger I come in contact with to feel my love. Next I want to make a difference every day. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a nurse or a teacher so I could help people. Well that didn’t work out as planned, and since 2010 I’ve lost all contact with the outside world period. Something happened to me on 12/12/13 that completely changed my life forever, restored my faith and made me realize some things I had maybe not forgotten but just wasn’t seeing clearly. I will never question HIS plan for me, nor the existence of angels here on earth ever again.

I would like to do some type of volunteer work again in the coming year maybe with Hospice, The Crisis Line or Battered women, something involving children like CASA, I’m not sure yet. I've done all the above but that was before my health got so bad. Whatever it is it will have to be something I can do on my own clock as you all know how MS is…so unpredictable! That’s one of the worse things about this disease. You certainly cannot make any plans, that’s for sure. I was going to volunteer at my grandson’s school but couldn’t give them a definite schedule so I was unable to help. I told them I could just show up if that would be acceptable but of course it wasn’t.

In the year to come, 2014, I’m going to do everything I can to write or record memories down for my grandsons. I’ve started a journal for the two of them but I wanted to make it more like a blog for them so they can both read and understand it one day. Having MS keeps me from doing so many things, but it also allows me the opportunity to do things I’ve wanted to do for 35 years while I had to work. Now that I’m retired, I’m going to take advantage of what time I have left and create memory journals for Aiden & Peyton, the lights of my life, and of course should there be any other little ones (hint hint Blake & Chase) LOL He/she would get their own journal also. Ahhh, life as a Meme. It is the most wonderful gift God has bestowed on a woman I assure you. I am truly BLESSED!!

My love for God is so powerful and so precious, in the coming year I want to do everything I can to learn more about his word and give praise to Him. I am in awe of the love He has for all of us sinners, and get all choked up thinking about the incredible gift he gave to us just so we could live. Without sounding like a complete Holier than thou religious nut which I am NOT, I just want in the next year to show Him how grateful, thankful, loyal, and loving I am and I am honored, SO honored to be a part of his flock.

I’m going to make as many memories with my family that I can which include short walks, long naps, midnight swims, early morning kisses, rainy night ghost stories, picnics on sunny days, chili with cornbread, dumplings and chicken. I want to play in the rain and lay in the sun, swim in the ocean and make angels in the snow. Even though we may sing off key lets learn a new song each week. I want to feel good enough to dance on our anniversary and every month in between. We’ll drink Coffee on the weekends and have hot cocoa at night. There will be camping in the spring, fishing in the lake, reading by the dock, and grilling by the bay. Memories……I want to make memories in 2014 without having to feel pressured, without having to feel like it’s what I HAVE to do.

Conviction, Determination, Desire, and Peace. That is what I feel this New Years 2014. I am so Blessed. Blessed beyond belief. Thank you all for being my friends, supporting me and caring for me this last year. I’ve realized through FB, you don’t have to actually touch someone to know they are there. I hope with all my heart I have been there for some of you like you have me. You are indeed my family. I love you all. Have a Blessed 2014!!